Its been almost a week since she said that life-changing words to me. (or rather life-changing sms XD) She haven't replied me since. And i wonder if she will ever reply me.
I've been thinking a lot. ( i have a lot of free thinking time during my job) And nothing good is in my mind. Honestly, all negative thoughts. Man its kinda like poisoning my brain. Sooner or later i will really go crazy and into a depression.
Who cares about that ? Right ? Back to the main topic, using the free time i had on my job. I thought over things carefully. About how much i hate my job. No offence, but its really a lucky thing that i had this job. (I never had to go for an interview. She's a friend of my aunt) And it pays SUPER well!!! I guess you might be wondering, AM I CRAZY to really think of quiting this job?!?!
Well I AM!! I've already called that auntie saying that this week will be the last week i'm working (and this is only the 2nd week) Call me a useless guy or whatever u wan, i'm fine. Since i've already been like this since i've born. Though most horoscope states otherwise. I am suppose to be a hardworking, strong-willed person. It turns out i'm actually quite the opposite. Unless certain circumstances, which i will work hard to the extreme and will do it until i finish it or die doing it ^^
Well if ur really curious, that circumstances are the requests by girls that i've promised to do , n will finish it no matter wat ^^
Hehe (dun kill me)
Enough of that, there's also another thing that i have finally made a decision after thinking for a long time. The solution to the problems i've been having all week long. I'm still unsure if she really liked me, but i do noe that i really liked her. And for that reason , i've decided to wait until everything has calmed down. And maybe start over. If fate allows, i'll juz start of like we 1st started, as friends, slowly progressing, If we really are meant for each other, i'm sure we will overcome this obstacle. Though i do wonder, will she or me still remember each other few months later ? Hmm... Somehow deep inside me, for a person who juz gave me her first kiss (hope its really her first), its not possible for her to be actually playing with my feelings. Since it required a lot of courage from her side to do it. But then again , i still dunno a lot of things about her. For now, lets juz let things slowly calm down. No use fussing like a wuss doing nothing but whining all day and night to my friends, I bet they r really frustrated to see me like this. (There goes my perfect impression T.T ) I'll like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone, especially Ai-yin, carin,Hui ting, and Xin Yi, for listening to my whinings n complains and even tried to help me out. I thank all of you for ur suggestions, i will try to solve this problem by myself, hopefully as soon as possible, since i know myself best, i won't let this problem rest from my mind unless it is already solved. So i guess more mental torture for me ahead T.T ... *sigh* Life...
Again i like to say, i'm really a blessed guy who sometimes juz doesn't noe how to appreciate. I got a good job which i'm throwing away. I have a nice bunch of girls friends, whom i might scare them away if i dun change my stinking pessimistic attitude now. Not every guy is lucky enough to even have one girl friend willing to listen n help out, what is there to say when i have 4 n more thats helping ^^
Haha, well its getting late now, even though i'm saying i already quitted the job, but i still have to finish off this week's sessions. So 2 more days of work to go.
Wish me all the best !!! ^^ Its time to shine and lets do our best^^
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