Dissapointed...

Once again i'm in a dilemma... Y am i so unlucky (in this case its actually lucky) to always be in a dilemma ??? haiz...

Well, my mum called me during the afternoon, told me that there's a job offer at Tesco, Ah Chim asked for me de. So i was like, kinda grateful and happy, but then i was still uncertain. Until my dad called me, by then i was really going nuts, i was thinking very hard about that job. Then somehow i broke down, i ended up crying in the car. (I was at my stationery supplier's shop) Haiz... Its been a while since i cried, And i guess this is the 1st time in 2010 ^^ Not a very good start again. I guess all those events happening around me and the emotions piled up inside of me finally got the better of me and broke down. Similarly, it made me remembered that 6 yrs ago, i broke down... But not in tears , i went overdrive into berserk, i mashed up Liang Sun like he was a sandbad (a good one too ^^).And 6 yrs later, i broke down again, this time , in tears and despair.

As i've said recently, i'm really a lucky guy and a blessed one ^^ I'm surrounded by nice ppl, that helped, cared and even supported me all the way. I know i'm a quitter. I always quit when i face hardship, that's how i am. And now, I've already accepted that job, but to ensure i will persevere to the end, I made a promise to myself, and to another friend, that I will do my best till the end. If i were to give up half way, then she will ignore me forever. With that, well i guess i kinda have a goal now right ? And there's also another thing, if i were to work all the way to the end (which is juz a day beofre CNY) i will probably earn (RM65*12) around RM720 plus the RM300 i got from the previous job, I have roughly about RM1k to spend.

I've already planned out a budget distribution of the money.
RM300 will be used to buy daily items for the old folks home as a tribute to my deceased grandfather.
Then probably i'll use RM450+ to buy PS2, then RM60 to buy the Wifi adapter for my sis, and the remaining money to be used to upgrade her comp, but with wateva that is left, i doubt i can do much to upgrade her comp. ==

Well, now that i have a goal to achieve, a punishment awaits me if i failed, i think i have set up my trap to force myself to persevere this boring job. I'll do my best as the money intended in not for myself, but for my family. For some reasons, i like spending money on other ppl, and rarely spend much on myself. Though I said rarely, when i do spend, i'll spend a big sum of money. Haha.

But now i'm having a problem, there's a solar eclipse this friday, and some girls might come to our observatory to watch, so i planned to go too. And saturday there's also the orientation day for my ex-school's co-curriculum activities orientation and exhibition day. And well sunday is a special day for myself. ^^

So i'm kinda packed this week, So the auntie gave me an allowance which , allows me to find someone to stand in for me for those 3 days, i'll have to pay them of course. But the problem now is, I can't find anyone!!! Everyone is either had found a job or already started schooling. Damn this sucks, well i have to try asking them again tomorrow. I still have a few ppl i can try to contact. Lets juz hope i can find someone to stand in for me, or else i've gotta give up seeing the solar eclipse and the girls !!! T.T and probably miss my last chance of joining them to attract new members... haiz, I've already told the auntie that i've confirmed that i'm not working on this sunday, since its the most important day in my life.

Well regardless of which, i'll juz have to try and try again, if really can't then i have no choice but to give up on some things... haiz life's sucks...

Anyway, juz wish me that everything will be smooth and everything will fall into their place nicely with no problems. And i will be able to endure this boring job until CNY. I really wish to change myself.. Let's do my best!!! (even though i hate changes)