That sinking feeling

Every now and then,
i will surely go emo.... without a solid reason
guess those were the days that defies logics
i'm torn apart by different thoughts....
i wish to be fit...muscular.... and cool-looking
yet, i never take any actions toward it...
i wish to capture a girl's heart... her heart
yet, i never did the right thing...never satisfy her
i wish to be better, best of the best
yet, i never take up the responsibility that comes with it
all i ever do is wish....
and from time to time, i will have emo breakdown that breaks down those wishes
into fragments of time that i had wasted

most people view me as someone who's always positive....
since i have a latent ability of a leader
but lack of the disciplines needed to lead well
am i really that good ?
no one knows except for myself...
guess the only way to find out is to continuing doing what i do best
LEAD THE WAY....

now i'm starting to feel that feeling again...
the feeling i once thought i had lost...
she's still important to me...
but i'm way scared to do anything now...
one wrong move... everything is gone...
thats scary....
i want her as a friend.... i want her more ...
i'm torn apart by this....
yet i'm also feeling that time will reveal itself soon...
let time unfolds.... the entangled feelings of mine...
hopefully by then, awaken her feelings for me too

nothing much i can do except being myself and stop making a fool of myself

Wish me luck then XD